
“Why Lean In When You Can Build Your Own Table?”
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
— Brené Brown
“Just don’t talk.” The CEO of an organization I once served delivered those four words with a flick of his hand and a look of disdain.
I was a middle-aged professional woman and leader with advanced degrees, decades of experience, and the respect of colleagues earned through consistent, disciplined work. Yet those four words pierced the confidence that had taken years to cultivate. From that moment forward, and until the day I left the company, silence replaced presence.
The silence lingered long after the meeting ended, shaping a quiet recognition that what had been dismissed in that room was not a comment on capability but a reflection of culture itself.
You may know the feeling. A meeting begins, and energy drains before words form. The mind rehearses responses that never reach the air. The evening arrives with echoes of acquiescent yeses that should have been resolute "nos."
Square Peg, Round Hole
For years, I shaped myself to fit spaces that rejected my essence. In the pursuit of belonging, I surrendered authenticity. I performed for acceptance and paid with truth. Doubt moved in quietly, whispering distortions: it is me, my accent hinders me, I am too outspoken.
Those whispers disguised themselves as humility but carried corrosion.
I wish I could say that my experience is unique. This pattern repeats across boardrooms and classrooms alike. It persuades intelligent women to trade their voices for safety, equating compliance with professionalism. We are told to lean in, yet the chair we are permitted to occupy sits pressed against the wall, far from the table we aspire to join.
There is another way—one that begins when you decide to create rather than conform.
Stop Leaning Into Other People's Tables | Build Your Own
It is time to envision a table that reflects your essence. Its surface bears the imprint of your journey and the wisdom earned along the way. Building your table is an act of authorship. It demands clarity of values and the courage to embody them.
Determine what anchors your foundation. Mine rests on belonging, amplification of women’s voices, creativity, and agency.
Choose the atmosphere that surrounds you. Shape a culture of collaboration, integrity, and respect. Invite voices that stretch perspective and challenge assumptions. True belonging flourishes through difference.
Define the standards that express your principles. Structure, when consciously designed, liberates rather than confines. Build with intention and endurance. Let your table outlive your presence. Allow it to become a place where others cultivate purpose through the environment you originated.
Claim Your Authorship
To build your table is to reclaim authorship of your life and work. It is to replace reaction with creation, imitation with design. Each decision, each collaboration, each conversation becomes a tool shaping the structure that bears your name.
The act begins quietly—with a single declaration: I will create a space that reflects who I am and what I value. From that moment, direction replaces doubt, and the work of construction begins.
When your table stands complete, it becomes more than a metaphor. It becomes a landscape of purpose, a reflection of agency, and a testament to the choice to live aligned with truth.
If possible, start building your table today, before you exit your current employment. Build it well. Let it stand as evidence of the moment you stopped waiting to be invited and began to define where you belong.
In that moment, the air around you feels different—steady, clear, and entirely your own.
Join the Conversation
Leave me a comment below and tell me what you dream of creating. If public discourse is too public for you, send me a note at [email protected].
Join a S.E.E.N. Live: Voices That Spark Change Conversation. Check out our Events Page.
And as always, be safe, dear sojourner, until we see each other again on these pages or in a Complimentary 30-minute Insight Session.
Blessed be.