Unraveling Mental Zip Codes
"When you make a choice, you change the future."
~ Deepak Chopra, MD
As I sit at a table in a coffee shop for the second day in a row, my fingers glide over my laptop's keyboard; Ricky Martin's "La Mordidita" is playing in my ear, and, while my body is seemingly static and my face looks as if I am dutifully working on something, my feet under the table betray me. The dancer in me, and let's face it, the Puerto Rican in me, are having a blast.
It is raining copiously outside. I stepped out of the house as it was just drizzling, not thinking of reattaching the hoodie to my raincoat—a fact betrayed by the state of my hair. But that is of no consequence—this day is perfect for writing while sipping from a cup of hot coffee. I just did not know what to write about until I looked up from my laptop.
Knitting
Two women are sitting in front of me, having what seems like a lively conversation—not that I can hear anything over Pitbull's voice (yes, it is Pitbull now), but I can see that they are smiling, laughing out loud from time to time, and knitting.
When was the last time I knitted? Maybe when I was volunteering at the Santa Clara County Suicide and Crisis Hotline many moons ago. One of my shift partners taught me to knit between crisis calls. But I abandoned the craft when I completed my volunteering hours and lost contact with my teacher.
The Blessing of Female Friendships
It is timely to see these women knitting in front of me today, while I, in a way, knit a new reality for myself. Their presence reminds me of my need for those threads that only female friends and their warm embrace can provide. My spool is missing some of those colorful threads today.
I was once part of an in-person tribe that supported one another during significant life transitions. While I remain friends with all of them, those life transitions have taken us away from one another.
Nowadays, my tribe, while more expansive, is all over the world—not two of us are in the same time zone. We are all female entrepreneurs and healers seeking to make a difference in the world. Our connecting thread? Our work, love of service, desire to expand our reach, and a mastermind alliance that supports our individual and collective efforts.
Big Transition
If you have read my previous posts or follow my work, you are aware that my life has undergone significant changes over the past couple of years. I am, quite literally, in a new zip code both geographically and mentally. For the purpose of this blog post, I will focus on the latter.
Changing Our Mental Zip Code
What does it mean to change our mental zip code?
It means embarking on a journey of growth that is not just about changing habits—it is a profound exploration of our mental landscape. It means we recognize the need to move away from old paradigms and behavioral patterns. It is about embracing ourselves, recognizing our beauty, and making a choice that will create a different result.
It is about remembering that our history is not our destiny.
Consider the following:
Mental zip codes are symbolic representations of our ingrained thought patterns, habits, and behavioral responses. They are the neighborhoods of our mind where familiar routines and paradigms reside. Recognizing these mental zip codes is the first step in the journey towards growth and self-discovery.
Old paradigms are like outdated maps that no longer serve us. They shape our beliefs, influencing our decisions and actions. Through introspection and self-awareness, we can pinpoint the paradigms that no longer align with our aspirations. This self-awareness serves as a compass, guiding us toward new, unexplored territories.
Our daily habits and behavioral patterns are the threads that weave the tapestry of our lives. As we scrutinize these threads and discern the habits that propel us forward and those that hold us back, we consciously weave a new narrative by replacing limiting habits with empowering ones. This step is crucial for weaving a new, vibrant tapestry that supports our desired outcomes.
With old paradigms identified and limiting habits under review, it's time to sketch the blueprint for new paradigms. We envision the life we want to lead, the career we aspire to, and the spiritual expression that resonates with our authentic self. We establish empowering beliefs and attitudes that align with our vision. This act of intentional creation is the foundation for transformative change.
Cognitive behavioral techniques offer a toolbox of alternatives to reshape thoughts and behaviors. Implementing strategies such as cognitive restructuring, behavioral activation, and exposure therapy actively challenge and transform old habits. Consistent application of these techniques creates the conditions for lasting change.
While reshaping our mental landscape, it's equally important to surround ourselves with a supportive and like-minded tribe. Our tribe comprises individuals who share our values, aspirations, and commitment to personal growth. We are free to seek out communities, both online and offline, where we can exchange ideas, receive encouragement, and celebrate each other's victories.
As we navigate the intricate process of change, we start to visualize the threads of our life weaving into a tapestry that not only supports personal, professional, and spiritual growth but also resonates with the energy of our tribe. The intertwining of these threads creates a dynamic and resilient fabric that sustains and uplifts us on our journey.
Conclusion
A rainy day, a cup of coffee, a playlist in your ear, witnessing others cultivate their in-person friendships, understanding the importance of those relationships, and being proactive in creating a community when you feel that you lack one are all elements of knitting your social and spiritual blanket.
As you work on altering mental zip codes and embracing new paradigms, imagine the threads of your life intertwining purposefully and harmoniously. This process involves intentional actions that align with your goals, fostering personal, professional, and spiritual growth.
Cultivating a supportive tribe is integral to our journey of holistic growth. The path to a fulfilling life is not solitary; it is a shared adventure enriched by the collective energy of those who walk beside you.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health or suicide emergency, call or text 9-8-8 or go online to https://988lifeline.org to connect with a counselor.
Join the Conversation
Leave me a comment below and share your transformation or female friendship story. If public discourse is too public for you, please send a note to [email protected].
And as always, be safe, dear sojourner, until we see each other again on these pages or in a Complimentary 30-minute Insight Session.
