“And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.”
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
There is something magical about the cycle of death and rebirth ingrained in the fabric of New Year's Day. I love the first day of the year!
Setting the Stage for The New Year
My New Year's Eve ritual is rooted in my desire to honor the ebb and flow of the year ending and the promise of the one to come.
As I set the stage for my ritual, my home becomes quiet. An intentionally crafted altar serves as the vortex. The dogs find their spot close by. Incense, flowers, candles, and specially selected symbols representing the directions are placed in their corresponding corners. My trusted purple pens, a new journal by my side, and a glass of sparkling wine complete my toolkit. While connecting the threads of one year with those of the next, I can feel myself entering the sacredness of the moment.
When midnight strikes and the fireworks light the skies at a distance, I recognize that I am the architect of the change I want to see. Still, creating a visual, tactile, and olfactory experience grounds me.
Restless
This year, however, I was caught in transit—my usual ritual thwarted. The dogs, while safe, are not by my side. Their absence, my transience, and the scale of my next set of scary goals created the perfect storm of feelings of inadequacy, fear, and intense restlessness that threatened to interfere with my efforts to reach our destination.
As I recognized the familiar pangs in my stomach that signaled immense change, I remembered that I intentionally created this temporary condition aligned with my why and in response to a higher calling—deep breath.
Introspection
I am a kinesthetic learner; I create while in movement. Creating something and moving my body allows me to connect with whatever I need to learn. That is one reason why I take my dogs for long walks. As I do, I connect every step to my breath, the leashes in my hand, and the dogs at the end of them. In the process, I become present to whatever is seeking to emerge.
These days, the stress of not having the dogs with me and the mounting deadlines on my calendar has negatively impacted my rhythm. However, I recognize that I have clarity of purpose, have aligned my goals with my values, and have created a map for the journey ahead.
I am, therefore, reminded of the fourth element of my coaching model: overcoming obstacles—deep breath.
Overcoming Obstacles
Here I am, my journey unfolding according to plan, yet I am restless. One of my non-negotiables has been compromised. I must remember to breathe through the moment and reframe these obstacles as "opportunities for transpersonal growth".
What limiting beliefs are finding expression as I look at this situation? Where is my self-doubt stemming from? Is there any place in the plan that was left to fate? Could I have foreseen any of these developments? What skills do I have or can develop to work through these setbacks? These reflections are my touchpoints for recalibration as I navigate the wave of the feelings arising in me. Recognizing them allows me to transform them into fuel.
But how? Let's see. Maybe this process will serve you as well.
Breathe | Recalibrate | Act
First, let's take a deep breath.
Breathing aids in stress reduction, blood pressure regulation, cellular function, energy production, better sleep, improved mental focus, and enhanced emotional well-being.
Connecting with our breath allows our bodies to self-regulate. When we breathe deeply, intentionally, and consciously, we connect with the parts of our being that have the answers to the questions we probably have not yet asked. Connecting our breath to our hearts promotes integration, spiritual expression, and coherence.
The HeartMath Institute advises, "Heart Coherence is a state of cooperative alignment between the heart, mind, emotions, and physical systems. This expands into personal, social, and global coherence."
When we connect our breaths with our hearts, we increase their coherence and activate elements of kindness and acceptance that release our mental and emotional pressure. This releases stress and allows us to recalibrate, gain clarity and resilience, and transform our lives.
Now, let's recalibrate.
Recalibrating before taking action involves taking a moment to reassess, realign, and refocus.
Taking the time to recalibrate allows for a more thoughtful and informed decision-making process. It enables us to monitor our impulses and consider all relevant factors and potential consequences. It provides a pause that allows us to step back, gain perspective, and avoid making decisions driven by emotions or immediate circumstances.
Recalibrating involves recognizing and understanding one's emotions. This process contributes to developing emotional intelligence, improving communication, and enabling us to navigate social situations more effectively. It promotes mental clarity and increased self-awareness via self-reflection.
Taking a moment to sit in silence, connecting with our breath, sitting in our favorite spot, taking a walk, journaling, swimming in the ocean, watching the squirrels through the window, playing in the snow, watching our children play, going out with friends, watching a movie, or taking a holiday are all excellent opportunities for recalibration. Find your unique expression.
Does your initial plan need to be readjusted? Is it still a viable plan? Is it still aligned with your values? Are your non-negotiables compromised? Are you ready for the next step? Do you feel the need to retrace the ones you have taken? Or is it time to unleash your potential?
The answers to your questions will inform the next step: taking action.
Now that we have taken a moment to breathe, connect to our hearts, and recalibrate, we are ready to take inspired action.
The clarity we gained from our exercise in pause and reconnection with our essence will result in more efficient and purposeful efforts. With our new-found focus, clarity, and renewed energy, we can now make decisions aligned with our values, goals, and intuition. In the process, obstacles become growth opportunities.
I do not believe in setting New Year's resolutions. Instead, I believe in setting a theme for the year that encompasses the more prominent aspects of life we want to focus on. In lieu of resolutions, we will forget by lunchtime that we can focus on bite-sized goals that we can accomplish within thirty to ninety days.
Those smaller tasks must serve bigger, scarier goals. Achieving them consistently helps us feel grateful, triumphant, and celebratory. And our brains will want more of that, thus creating the habit of feeling successful.
What is one thing you can do today to move closer to your goals?
Today's goal might very well be to make that phone call you have been dreading, present your resignation to a job that is depleting your vital energy, apply for a graduate program, reach out to someone who hurt you or whom you hurt, connect with someone on LinkedIn, or respond to a request to partner up.
Conclusion
When we pause, we find the confidence to take purposeful and inspired action, contributing to increased self-esteem, accelerated goal achievement, and positive momentum. As we flex these muscles, we develop the capacity to see the potential future, using our educated intuition as our compass.
Take a moment to stop, breathe, think, feel, and assess your immediate past and the results of your decisions—all critical elements of this process. If necessary, make new agreements and choices.
Whether you recognize the importance of ritual, setting a theme for the year, focusing on bite-sized goals, visualizing yourself accomplishing the big scary ones, or you are into setting New Year's resolutions, you are in the driver's seat of your life.
Until we meet again on these pages or a discovery call, may you be blessed, successful, and safe, dear sojourner.
Neidy Lozada, MATP, ATCC, CSIC, is an adaptive integrative and spiritual integration coach. She brings over twenty years of experience in transpersonal practices, coaching, and business to her work with individuals from all over the globe. She founded Soulful Sojourners following her long-held dream of building a company to provide top-notch coaching services to women, men, and organizations undergoing a profound transformational process. Neidy continues to serve non-profit organizations in the Bay Area through her work as a board member. She is a proud mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and devoted caretaker of furry companions.
Note
If you want to learn more about the power of heart coherence and the benefits of this type of meditation, check out my friend, Emily Hayward, at https://www.hormonalharmony.love/. Emily is a gifted healer and HeartMath practitioner who hosts a free meditation group every Tuesday at 8:00 PM (UK time).
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